Note: this is a part of our Boss of Me series, addressing 10 common midlife mindset traps head on, and what to do about them. If this limiting belief is a challenge for you in moving ahead, I'm offering complimentary "Mirror Your Brilliance" sessions - 45 minutes to focus on you and mirror back some insight. Now through Jan 19. Spaces are limited so book your session now: Schedule my session.
This Day 2 of our special free daily Boss of Me series for the next 10 days to help you take action around some common midlife challenges.
Here we go with one of the top 3:
I'm too busy.
I had a 2 friends years ago. I’ll use different names, because facebook is still a thing. lol.
Let's say the first was Mary. She was always scattered, rushing, stressed, very nice but a little bit of a martyr. Conversation with her quickly could veer into negativity and complaining, but you could tell she felt guilty complaining.
It was painful to watch because I know she had valid stuff to get out, and she felt trapped in it. She would stop herself just short of saying what she really thought.
Another friend, lets call her Caroline, was equally busy, but she was positive without forcing it, focused, happy even on off days.
I’m not going to tell you not to be busy. The reality is we are women leading in our lives, so we are going to be busy. We live in a world where action and energy are accelerating all around us. Its exciting!
IF your long term life strategy is so dialed into your daily to-dos that most of the stuff you do directly relates to things you actually really care about, you’ll feel "too busy" but it will be motivating, not exhausting. I am living this right now. I'm working a lot, a whole lot. Take a peek at my output the last few months. But I'm getting up, working out, and staying super focused because I care about this work.
I’ve thought a lot about what both of my friends taught me. How do we avoid Mary’s predicament?
What to DO
These tips have worked for me and others:
The secret is anchoring. Anchoring what’s going on to day to our bigger goals - our soul’s goals.
Set your Horizon goals - the biggest ones you can think of - legacy goals.
Work backward from 10, 5, 3, 2, 1 years with basic action steps.
Get more detailed from 6 months >>>> today.
That is how your action items on your calendar today that are related to goals way down the line. This makes life simpler. Its easier to say no.
Find someone to be accountable to who truly supports and understands what you are doing. This is essential for ongoing progress.
Inconvenient truth - the people you assume will truly support and understand you do not always do so. This is more common than you might think. Its painful and I bring it up because I don't want you to be surprised.
I supported one of my very best friends through an incredibly difficult time in her life. When others were judging her, I did not. I stood by her. A couple years later, when I turned to her at probably my lowest point ever, she completely froze me out with anger and judgement.
Ouch. Have you ever experienced something similar?
If so, here's the thing. Its about them, not you. Family and friends who don't "get" us are not bad people, they simply cannot see past their own baggage and they want to throw it back on you.
We can turn this around on ourselves too, if we are brave. When was a time you felt threatened by someone else's progress on a dream? Its OK, we have all felt that way at one time or another.
So don't stop your progress. People who don't understand your goals may be a little threatened by your Brilliance, to be 100% honest. Get used to that, girlfriend. Take it as a good sign.
You may have to do a people purge, though. Not everyone gets to stay. Nor should they, it doesn't serve them, either. Find those who are supportive and help buoy your energy and confidence. More about that in future posts.
Don't let anyone douse your spark. Find the people who want to help you build a friggin' bonfire. Our Mirror Your Brilliance Circles are one place to look. They aren't for everywoman, but if you are reading this Boss of Me series and it resonates with you, they might be for you.
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Next up: #3 in our Boss of Me Series "I Can't Decide" .
All My Best -
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