I'm not a runner and I'm trying to decide if I'm OK with that. I always wanted to do a marathon, but I think I may need to settle for the Schlotzky's Bun Run and Chuy's 5K I did in Austin several years ago.
About that time I also got up at dawn for a few months to join a running group in Westlake. It was full of elite runners and very intimidating. I liked our coach, she was a petite Latina who ran like the wind with perfect form and grace. She was also a tough coach. I stuck with it for awhile but never was able to connect with anyone else because they were always literally ahead of me. I did excel at running stands, though. : D
Sergio and I are both 54, our current routine now is to do body weight workouts in the park. He's a great partner for me in this, his natural latin vibe is much more prone to activity than my grizzly bear spirit is. I would always rather jog around the corner for coffee than to the park to exercise.
Its about a 15 minute bike ride to get there, we do burpees or some other full body cardio thing that is equally painful, and then a few sets of body weights. The only thing very structured about it is that we do it 4 times a week. It doesn't really matter if you are hopping along to youtube videos or if you have Jennifer Aniston's trainer, the most important thing is eating as clean as you can, and consistently moving. I say that with full confession of a creeping afternoon habit of a handful of lime and chile fritos that has crept into my days. You can't find them in the US. sigh.
Physical goals are an awesome counterpoint to our other goals, they mirror the same basic process for getting from point A to B but generally you literally have to move more. And, if you are working at something you basically suck at, is GREAT practice in being OK with where you are at.
Letting go of the little girl to empower the young women - the top 10 things our girls need before they leave the nest.
With the fall months, some of the young women in our lives are transitioning from high school and home to college or moving out to begin life outside the nest.
This is an understandably challenging transition for everyone.
I was extremely fortunate that when my teen girl and I were navigating these choppy waters, I had a very dear friend who also happens to be a teen life coach, Barb Steinberg.
Based on what I learned from Barb, I sometimes see posts on Facebook that make me wince a bit. - One was a debate about setting up tracking on a teens phone without their knowledge - it seems disrespectful of a young person's privacy and it amounts to spying on our kids - what message does it send? "I own you and I don't trust you AT ALL". - in an attempt to "keep them safe".
Another was a debate about a 17 year old riding in cars with peer drivers. I'm thinking, in less than a year your daughter will be in college and riding in cars with people you have no clue about, do you think forbidding it now, in the relatively safe community she lives in, will help her make good choices later?
Each family is different of course, but don't we all remember the kids we knew who went wild their Freshman year and had a pretty rough tumble because they had not been allowed to fail or mess up during the last years at home?
Unfortunately, 2017 has shown us more than ever that we don't have control over keeping anyone "safe". Do you ever feel frustrated, helpless and scared by that reality?
We are discussing positive actions that build our personal resiliency and tap into our feminine strength, not our fears, to navigate life issues, so that we may be our best selves as we influence the lives of others that we care about. If you are interested in being a part of these solution-oriented, positive discussions, please apply to join our private, curated Oasis Community on Facebook.
One thing we CAN do when we feel at a loss is call on the wisdom of those within our community.
So I called Barb and asked if she would like to do an interview. Thankfully, she said yes!
Barb is a teen life coach and workshop facilitator who transforms the lives of adolescent girls and the adults who care about them. As a teen life coach, Barb has a knack for quickly getting to the core of the problem and guiding clients toward a solution. Both girls and adults find her extremely easy to relate to, open, warm and funny. Barb is gifted at balancing emotion and intellect and serving as a catalyst for long-lasting change.
Barb is a licensed, masters-level social worker with over 20 years of experience working with teens. Barb feels grateful to live and work in Austin, Texas, where she has had the opportunity to partner with many schools, parent groups, nonprofits and organizations who share her passion: supporting girls as they navigate the often tricky road of adolescence. You can reach Barb at Barb Steinberg Presents.
Here I've summarized Barb's The Top 10 Things Your Daughters Need From You Before They Fly the Nest.
She is also offering the tip sheet to you for free, you can get your copy by clicking on the button below.
You'll be taken to a sign up page and you will be returned to this page. The list will be automatically delivered to your email so don't forget to check for it later.
The Top 10 Things Your Daughters Need From You Before They Fly the Nest.
Please enjoy the interview!
What do you think? What is the balance between protecting and empowering our young women? What kind of buttons does this push for you, as an adult woman?
You'll be taken to a sign up page and then you will be returned to this page. The list will be automatically delivered to your email so don't forget to check for it later. Thanks!
This post might give you a sinking feeling as when you see Santa in the stores before Halloween - but stick with me.
October can be a great month to plan to plan 2018. And it can be fun.
A couple years ago I stumbled upon the practice of planning my next year in November. It started with an unexpected gift of a house sitting gig for a month on top of a mountain in gorgeous western Montana. That's me on the mountain in the pic above.
It was more like a mid-life reset than planning for the next year. I had a view of Flathead Lake, a fireplace in the living room, 2 sweet labs to take care of, and no one else. Absolute. Heaven.
As I looked back on it, though, it was genius I wish I could claim as intentional. Getting my next year figured out early makes December more fun and January much less stressful.
In October you can ease into it, because you likely won't have a month on a mountaintop in November, right?
You can spend a couple hours reviewing what works and doesn't work about your current organizational tools for your life and biz, and do a quick list of top of mind goals for next year to revisit in November.
Notice I said life and biz. I did not set goals for many years, I was discouraged and didn’t see the point. I didn’t understand that a goal is a pointer, to expect that plans would inevitably change, and that was normal. If things didn’t go as planned, I felt like a failure and that felt bad. So I just didn’t plan. Not good. Now, I’m a big believer in creating your life’s strategy no matter what your work situation is.
Two years ago, starting with my mountain magic month, I started making plans and gave myself permission to splash around in what was, at first, more of a big hot mess than a “life strategy”.
I’m happy and scared to report that clarity has arrived with a big thunk, with the help of a really great coach, I finally know exactly what I need to do and when it needs to happen. I also know things will change in the process, and I'm OK with that, too.
I love paper journals and every shiny new online productivity app that comes along. I’ve been a dabbler and it was only recently I committed to a system. Even to do that, I had to strip down to the basics and use a notebook where I drew in the planner pages based on a mix of page features I like.
I’m also stubbornly refusing to focus on just one of the two big projects I want to create. (I have some Scottish- McCauliff - in me on my mom’s side. This stubborn persona that is showing up is new to me, I picture a small bald man in a plaid cap, with a set frown on his face, digging his heels in.)
The result of working on 2 big things at once is that the complexity has definitely outgrown my paper planner and trying to put it all on a DIY GANTT chart in google docs was giving me an anxiety attack.
Enter Asana. Its an online productivity tool. Of course, I had tried it in the past. And of course, I didn’t stick with it.
I realized now what happened - I dove in and got confused and overcomplicated everything - this is a pattern with me. In fact, I think the way we schedule ourselves is a mirror into our workstyle strengths and weaknesses
Having said that, I like the way I jump without looking, usually. Too much pre-planning kills more genius than skinned knees and bruised egos from jumping too soon, ever will.
The solution is not to curb that impulse to jump, but be more selective about where. (That's why goal setting is so important). And, I take just a few steps to warm up before I jump - a bit of pre-planning or onboarding.
Today’s example; With the aforementioned beautiful chaos looming, I am taking a few hours today to set up Asana again. But this time, I’ve (impatiently) watched a few videos on actually how to do that, sketched out on paper Asana’s structure of projects, tasks and sections, and how they relate.
Because I still love paper, I also googled a question about using Asana in conjunction with a paper planner - and ran across this inspiring young entrepreneur at Paper & Oats. Her About Me page is terrific. In fact, her whole site is pretty darn nice. Enjoy!
So, as the days get a bit shorter and the weather cools off, steal a couple of hours this month to sketch out your November planning meeting. If you have a resource that works especially well for you in the life planning department, I’d love to hear about it.
Below is a video I did during that planning session in Montana. It makes me smile so big to see this now. You go girl.
You are sitting at your desk, or on your couch, looking out the window, wishing you were working on something that was engaging and making a difference but not sure where to start on your ideas.
We have all been there. Every idea starts out fuzzy and unformed, confusing because we are looking at something we don't have all the pieces to yet..
Try not to let that energy have the last word. Take a few minutes and get inspired by women who have started small and found success.
I particularly loved this video, its from a series called My Business Story. It has an unexpected zing related to her first client that might cause you to tear up, but that also beautifully illustrates a point that can be hard to see, especially if the view is from your couch or cubicle.
When you build a business around your inner gifts and passion or motivation, the energy that flows through your business becomes a vehicle for connecting to others and the world in ways you will not expect.
Do you have a story that inspires you and keeps you working toward your DreamBiz? If so, let us know in the comments below.