On a girlfriends' trip to Sedona, the convo of course drifted for a bit to our dreams for the future.
I was impressed with my friend when she said, "You know, I have always been drawn to the Southwest and thought for a long time I might want to retire here. Now, with some recent changes in my life, I'm thinking, why would I wait? I could start to look into ways to move here sooner!"
Bingo. Exactly. Right On. Damn Straight.
The key is small steps. As this video talks about, no one goes from A to Z in one step. NO ONE. What you want to do is avoid being the person that won't even take the tiny step to B because you can't see Z.
Here is the interesting thing - if you knew exactly how to jump into the life you want, you would have already done it, right?
So think of the exploration process as just that - exploring. Here is a link to a blog post with some great tips. You could compress this timeline into 6 months if you've been thinking about transitioning into the Boss of Me for awhile now.
I am embarrassed to have found myself in the middle of one of the most challenging hikes I have ever attempted, dressed like a noob.
I’m scrambling up the bald face of a steep red mountain, hoping I don’t fall as there is nothing below me except a pair of unsuspecting hipster hikers. Well, maybe they are not so unsuspecting; I know they would love to pass me.
Below them are only sharp rocks and a steep incline where falling objects (or persons) pick up speed before tumbling to a stop.
The light pack on my back is fine, but I’ve got a yuppie eco-friendly bag, toting a six pack and two small boxes of wine, that awkwardly dangles off of one shoulder when I stoop to climb up a steep spot.
I’m in jeans, the sure sign of a trail newbie, and my running shoes are more suited to a track workout than this steep crazy mountain goat climb.
Isn’t that such a girl thing to be thinking about my outfit as I’m looking for toeholds on bald rock at 4900 feet?
Even so, the adrenaline of doing something ill-advised and freakin’ awesome has kicked in. I’m feeling pretty good, in spite of having no clue a few minutes earlier we would be doing this.
The DreamBiz Test Drive is different because it SHOWS you what will work about your idea before you dive in, gives you 4 steps to test your idea, the shows you how to AVOID the 3 biggest reasons new businesses fail. all this BEFORE you spend a lot of time and money on an official business launch.
Our FOCUS on the early, or "ideation" stage, and on COLLABS for you makes us different. The video above talks a bit more about that.
There are literally thousands of sources of information for people starting businesses. I should know, I ran across at least a couple hundred of them in my own journey of exploring my ideas.
What I didn't run across was one single resources that made sense for the stage I was in at that time - with a few ideas in my head, very little clarity about where to start, and no organized way of testing the waters before I dove in all the way, spending a lot of time and money "starting a business.'
You may have seen this graphic already on the website or on our Facebook page:
It illustrates many of the activities in the Business Box - these are the areas you will find lots of advice about online. Yes, they are important but most of them are logistical tasks you need to take to start a business - I think of them as Phase 2 activities.
The place to spend your time getting clear and getting organized is outside the business box - which in reality are the areas that matter, first. You can find out a lot about your business idea - BEFORE you start your business. The video below tells more:
What is your biggest challenge in getting started? Let us know in the comments below.
We are offering webinars about the DreamBiz Test Drive next week. You can learn more by visiting our VIP Portal.
It multitasks, its preventative, and it plays well with all other sports.
I'm not an accomplished athlete. I'm actually kind of clumsy and have never had great balance or flexibilty. I've been moderatly active, most of my life, and I eat pretty well, so I feel good most of the time.
But I've never done a Triathalon, a marathon, played adult league sports, or stuck with any kind of set fitness routine for several weeks at a time. I've tried a lot of different stuff. YouTube fitness videos are like nirvana for me, you can literally do a different workout every day, probably for 100 years, given how many videos are out there now!
Not that I recommend hopping around that much. I have found that through years of fitness infidelity, I do return home to my 2 steadies - yoga and body weight routines.
They are the baseline that allows me to do the other things - run once in awhile, bike, pump iron sort of, climb pyramids, schlep my bags through airports and crowded metro stops with lots of stairs and no elevators. They also keep a very grouchy right hip happy. The weeks I do my yoga, I'm pain free. The other weeks, not so much.
One of the best things about it is probably a bit ironic, given that the whole point of it is to be in the moment and breathe - Yoga is an awesome mind-body multitasker. You benefit your body, mind, and prevent future injury, all in one hour a couple of times a week.
When I separated from my now ex-husband, a hot yoga studio opened, walking distance from my house. I still believe it opened just for me; thanks Universe!
Hot yoga saved my sanity when I was going through the divorce. All my sadness (some days) anger and resentment (other days) burned and sweated out of me in those classes at Vibe Yoga in Santa Rosa, CA.
The day the divorce was final I cried slowly through almost a whole class, no one noticed because I was sweating too. It was cathartic. It helped that the teachers were really exceptional.
So if you haven't tried yoga, I'm hoping to convert you. No, not into a yogi fanatic who practices 5x per week in a 101 degree room. (not that I was that faithful, I think I made it 3X per week).
Unless that is what makes you happy.
I have also met some of the best people I know through Yoga. Check out Treina Alexander's yogaloveoakland.com/ studio in Oakland the next time you are in that area. (She is one of our fabulous COLLABS advisors, too!)
I met her when I attended a class there, and later went on a yoga retreat to Mexico that she organized, it was awesome. (The next one in Mexico is in May 2018, check it out if you are interested! http://yogaloveoakland.com/2018-summer-camp/)
Treina teaches traditional and an Egyptian style of yoga that is very different and beautiful. The poses are just like the pictures of people in the murals in the pyramids. She looks like an Egyptian Queen when she teaches, its amazing!
If you have ever wanted to pose like a hieroglyphic, Egyptian Yoga is for you. : )
Dog is my co-pilot <3
Places to start
I did not know it before I wrote this post but September is also National Yoga Month!
While looking for some visuals to share with you, I waded through some surprisingly lame graphics. Who knew that yoga would not help people with their information design skills?
One that was actually published in the Huffington Post was especially odd. It was a decision tree graphic - with questions like, "Do you like to take your clothes off"? Well then, nude yoga is for you! Another question - "are you old"? - yes, that was the wording. Yes? Off to Senior Yoga you go, if you still want to after being called old.
At that point I'm wanting to ask the creators of the graphic, "Are you clueless?"
This one is nice, though:
And this one gives a lovely overview of the different styles of yoga. I'm currently obsessed with Iyengar, its great for healing injuries due to muscle or tension imbalance. They let you use lots of props and take time with each pose to get it right. My right side has always been touchy, I learned in Iyengar that its actually my left side that is the problem - I'm tighter on that side. And here I have been blaming my poor right side for years. I have tried all of these types. Having said all that, if you like a yoga flow, Iyengar is not a great choice. Try Vinyasa or Hatha (which is oddly missing from this graph - Hatha is probably what most of us associate with yoga). Which one do you think you would enjoy?
The graphic above is from https://thetruthaboutyoga.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/different-types-of-yoga/ - the blog seems to be abandoned but I'm putting the reference here anyway.
So let us know if you yoga now, or if you have any tips for beginners.
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Fear of failure or loss has become the new saber-tooth tiger in the bushes.
Let me explain with an example.
Q: Would it be helpful to talk about your DreamBiz or Passion Project idea with someone objective?
I bet your first reaction was "Yes!"
And then your brain immediately said, Wait - what are the details? is there a catch? If we talk about it that might make it real. We'll just get excited about something impossible. I don't have time right now.
Naaaaah. Thanks anyway. I need to go re-arrange my sock drawer, I've been putting it off.
See how this works?
I have known for awhile, and you probably do, too, that fear stops us from doing many things. More things than we can imagine, really.
Fear on autopilot = habits our brain thinks are keeping us "safe".
Here is what I did not know a couple of weeks ago - part of our brain is hard-wired to hesitate. If it senses we are contemplating something new and different, stepping out, it will kill our initiative with hesitation while we "think about it".
This was to keep us alive in the days when stepping outside of our cave could get us eaten by a tiger in the bushes if we weren't careful.
The problem is that this section of our brain doesn't know the difference between the tiger in the bushes and what might happen if we take sign up for that new class, take that trip, start that blog, or take action on any other thing that is new and different today.
All our brain sees is the stress (perceived threat) associated with the action.
I imagine that women, as the main caretakers of children around the hunter-gatherer campsite, developed this tendency to hesitate - in the form of evaluating risks - to an even higher degree, keeping track of several things at once.
What to do about it.
In brief, this is what I've learned from a few different sources*:
This is how it works:
First, breathe deeply. This send oxygen upstairs and signals to our brain that its OK.
Second, procrastination is not a bad thing you do because you are bad. It is your brain trying to keep you safe. Don't take it personally.
Third, you are the boss of your brain, right? The way you change it is by taking fast action - like in 5 seconds - on things you are avoiding, and spending at least 5 - 10 minutes on that which you are avoiding. This is how you chase the tiger out of the bushes, because in reality, its just a mouse rustling around.
Fourth, baby steps are key. You could give your notice to a job you hate in 5 seconds, and I'm not going to say you shouldn't. If you've been unhappy for years it may be exactly the antidote. Deadlines work for a reason; quitting your job immediately gives you all sorts of real deadlines. But it also ratchets up your stress level.
Instead, you could turn a more prudent approach (see how nice that sounds?) into a platform for action (instead of an excuse not to act) by grabbing a piece of paper and list the top 3 things to do, now, to transition out of that job in 6 months. For example, start a savings account, update your resume, get help having that difficult money conversation with your partner, get serious about generating part time income from a passion or idea you have.
Then, what is the next fast action you can take on each step? Do that one. I bet after spending an hour of 5 second baby steps you will feel a little woozy and more alive than you have in weeks, months or even years.
This small shift towards a bias for action will change your life. Why? Because life is a series of small decisions, many of them we make on auto-pilot, also called habits.
Here is the piece that was missing from what I read. All of the advice was focused on individual change, and yes, change starts with you.
However, no one does this alone. Women in ancient societies developed collective safety nets for their children. If you are considering birthing a business or passion project, you need 2 things:
Lets take on the tigers together. <3